“Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.” 1 Timothy 6:12
There are days when you feel like you are done. Really done. Nobody gets it. Most of your time is spent, trying to explain your thoughts and feelings to people.
People don’t understand. They’re just people. That’s why. They don’t need to get it. Plus, they have a life too.
That’s one of the reasons why I decided to never rely on another human being. It doesn’t have anything to do with them. It’s just my decision. I take responsibility for my own actions, and I rely on God.
I have to.
I’m just not capable enough, so I rely on Him. It’s not about how many degrees you have, what your bank balance is, or how many people you know. These things never saved anyone from their miseries. People lay in front of their television screens, suffering in secret. They are too ashamed to reveal their faults, weaknesses and pain.
It’s not fun, you know? You don’t talk about that kinda stuff!
Ugh. But the heart never stops aching, does it?
But, wait! Oh, you did talk about some of that stuff? Oh, they didn’t get it? They thought you were just having one of those moments? They judged you?! The relationship was never the same since then? What?!
No new revelations there.
If only God was physically present here. Then we could see Him, and touch Him. Right? Now, that would make the whole world change their minds about Him! Think about it. God will seem more alive and real if we could see Him.
I mean, I could actually keep a check on Him, and see if He is really who He says He is. Forget about yourself, think about how cool it would be to actually meet God face to face? That would be awesome! I’m so ready for it.
I turn to Him, daily. In fact, His presence lives within me. I’m not a puppet in His hands. I’m not directing Him either. God is God. He is God. He is alive and powerful. Seeking our hearts. I can’t fathom His love. Every time I catch another glimpse of it, I fall on my knees. It’s amazing.
This sounds theatrical to some. So senseless.
When I turn to Him, I see His glory. It shines brightly over me. I rest in His presence. I feel safe and secure.
Every day, I’m grateful. Even on the challenging days when I hate myself, I’m grateful. He sustains me. He gently pulls me towards Him, kisses my forehead, whispers words of wisdom, and sends me off.
Again, I’m left wondering how I’m able to get up and get moving. I remember His words. I remember how I felt when He held me close.
In my Father’s arms, I feel energized. I feel loved. I see myself the way He sees me. Every vision, every prophesy, and every dream, flash in front of me. I thought I was weird and complicated, but His thoughts about me are different.
Powerful Love! Wonder-working God! Life-giver! Restorer of my faith! Restorer of lives!
My heart cries out to you, Lord.